Protecting Children in Custody Cases

All children are adversely affected to some extent by the separation of their parents.  They will have a deep sense of loss for the parent who has departed and a strong desire to have their parents back together again.  Some children blame themselves for the divorce.  They may have the inability to trust and may harbor fears such as the loss of their home, friends and current way of life.

All good parents want to protect their children as much as possible from the affects of divorce.  How can this fact be balanced against the desire for custody?  The answer is simple.  Looking out for the best interest of your child and attempting to protect your child will not hurt you in a custody case. 

Let’s begin by discussing what you should not do:

• Do not make disparaging remarks about the other parent in the presence of the child;
• Do not prevent the other parent from spending ample time with the child;
• Do not stifle the child from having a loving relationship with the other parent;
• Do not discuss any part of the legal proceedings with the child;
• Do not engage in any conduct which would cause the child to alienate himself from the other parent;

If you do anything that will cause harm to the child, it will likely be uncovered in an evaluation.  Don’t make that mistake.  A child is typically aware and sensitive to disparaging comments about the other spouse.  A child will be able to see through this and will likely describe the conduct during an evaluation.

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